We all have our own personal timeline for when we want to achieve certain things in our lifetime, but what do you do when reality does not meet expectation. If you’re like most people you panic, start to feel a little desperate and feel overwhelmed; you feel stuck in a rut, embarrassed to talk about what’s going on or how you feel. Newsflash! Things do not have to be this way. When you are stuck in a rut and embarrassed about your life, there are steps you can take to get back on track.
We all have been in this situation at some point in our lives. Picture this scene in your mind. You’re out with friends, it’s a typical Friday night after work, but a secretly having a tough time, you feel trapped in a job you dislike, you are no longer happy with being single, and you have debts stacking up; you’re having a tough time and would rather be at home. One of your friends leans in and asks, ‘Is everything ok?’ You start to feel nervous, but choose to tell a small white lie. ‘I’m fine, just a little tired.’ What’s the harm in telling a white lie? This small white lie is never a one-time thing; it becomes your new normal. The problem is, you’re not fooling anyone.
We all have the tendency to mask our true feelings and pretend that everything is ok. The problem with wearing masks is, we eventually get caught up in playing a charade, and fall into the trap of lying to ourselves. We have all heard the age old saying, ‘the truth will set you free’; it’s true, whenever you are not honest with yourself and others you are going to say in the never ending cycle of being stuck in a rut. Being honest does not mean, giving into a negative mindset or playing the victim. The next time someone asks if you’re ok, be honest, avoid the dramatics, and stick to the facts, say that you’re going through a tough time right now. Being honest is the first and most crucial step to becoming unstuck. It’s like you’re stuck along the M5 with steam coming out of your car bonnet the first and most crucial step to getting out of the situation is to be honest and admit you have a problem with your car, and then call the RAC.
Do Not Be a Hermit
A friend of mine called Anna recently admitted to me that she was really unhappy with where she was going in life. She admitted to feeling embarrassed with her career, a limited social circle, and avoided answering personal questions about her life. The one thing she did not do was go into hiding or morph into a recluse. Anna was out on a Sunday morning having tea and a macaroon with a friend, and being honest with where she was at in life.
Don’t be a hermit until you have it all figured out; the majority of people genuinely believe they are simply not good company when they are going through a tough time. Don’t put off your social life, start making plans with friends, fill up your social calendar, being around people will help get you out of a rut. Building a social life will get you out of your head from obsessing over your problems, and focusing on have fun, and being optimistic about life.
Take Action, Immediately.
During my Sunday morning with Anna after we finished our tea, we were walking around Covent Garden when, I asked her a very important question: what is one thing you’ve being put off or holding yourself back from doing? She confessed to always want to do hip hop, but always though she couldn’t dance or wasn’t cool enough for that genre of dance. I set her a challenge for the week, to attend her first Hip Hop dance class. As we were walking back to the station we walked passed Langley Street, where pineapple dance studios reside. Anna saw the sign and said to me, I want to check if they have a class.
The pivotal moment of this story is, she did something. Anna accepted my challenge and took action, immediately. The hardest step to take is often the first small step. It’s not about what you choose to do, it’s more important to take action. Ask yourself, what can I do right now to help me out of my rut? Read a self-improvement book, sign up or attend a personal development workshop, book an appointment with a psychologist or a life coach, or like Anna, take a class that you’ve been meaning to take. If you are stuck for ideas, start by making a list of the top 25 things you want to do in your city, and start ticking them off your list one by one.
The most important thing is to take action, no matter how insignificant it may seem, or even completely irrelevant to the big life problem you are trying to solve. Remember, every problem has a solution but you cannot find the solution to being stuck in a rut by staying in your head, you need to get out there and take action.
Do Not Wait for Motivation
The quickest and easiest path to failure is to wait for motivation or inspiration; the winners in life take immediate action and get things done. – Amelia Hay
The majority of people wait to feel motivated before they do anything. I’ve completely lost count of how many times, I have been told by aspiring writers that they wait to feel motivated or inspired before they write because that’s when the do their ‘best work’. People who are happy, productive, and successful in every area of life do not wait for motivation; they take control of their lives, make decisions, and just get on with it. Instead of waiting to feel motivated, try throwing yourself into every task you have, be present and enjoy the moments you are having right now. When you bring passion and a sense of fun into everything you do, it transforms your mindset. A positive mindset brings clarity and opens your eyes to opportunities. It’s almost as if, you become a magnet for clarity, opportunity, and happiness.
As always, insight without action is futile! Are you stuck in a rut? Have you gotten your life back on track after being in a rut? I want to hear your story. Please let me know by using the comments box below. Thank you for reading, sharing and commenting with such kindness and enthusiasm.