Devastating heartbreak, losing your dream job, sudden illness, an unexpected departure or an unexpected change of plans. Let’s face it, sometimes life can suck! 5 out of those six things have happened to me over the last nine months. In these moments where everything seems to be falling apart at the seams and we feel lost; so, how do you cope and build momentum? How do you stop the pain and suffering and go on to build a brighter future? Out of my recent experience, I have come up with 4 Tips on How to Cope When Life Seems to Fall Apart.
1. Everything happens for a reason
Everything happens for a reason, I know this may sound a little woo-woo and very cliche, but it is an excellent framework for life. If you go through life knowing that every problem is serving a greater purpose, you will look for and find an empowering lesson. Someday you will look back and say, if x did not work out the way it did, I would not have y. Everything can have a meaning, and you get to decide whether you will attach an empowering or disempowering meaning to life events. When you choose to attach an empowering meaning to painful events, you are giving yourself hope that thinks can be and will be better for you in the future. This is a great platform to rebuild your life and often gives you the strength to press forward.
2. Suffering is optional
The good news is, no painful situation will last forever, but quite often, in the moment this is hard to believe, we draw our focus on the events and our shattered dreams and feel tightness in our chest as we start to feel anxious about our looming future. Painful situations only become prolonged if you dramatise, constantly dwell on it or continually bring it up. If you have people in your life that love to constantly bring up your failures, explain that you would like to move on and if they continue, spend less time with those individuals.
Allow yourself to feel the pain but do not entertain the mental drama of why did this happen to me or I’m never going to recover from this. It is extremely tempting to entertain these thoughts but what you are doing is creating a story that isn’t true. If you continue down this path you fall into the trap of believing the over dramatised version of events, start to believe you will never recover and inevitably prolong unnecessary pain and suffering.
3. Live in the moment
When our world starts to fall, apart one of the first decisions we make is to panic. Panic leads to anxiety, regret and stress; anxiety about the future and regrets about the past could be, what is holding you back right now. When you think about it, the past and the future are just mental concepts, they are not real, the only moment that exists right now is, this moment. The key to getting yourself to move forward is to become a master at living in this current moment. Turn your focus to what is happening right now, because you have the ability to deal with whatever is happening now. Ask yourself, can I handle what is happening right now. Focus on what you have in this present moment no matter how simple or insignificant it may be. No amount of anxiety or stress will change the events of the past and worrying about the future will not make the future any brighter. In fact, what you do today will help you have a better tomorrow
4. Build momentum one today at a time.
The key to building momentum and moving forward is to take things one day at a time. Do what needs to be done today, stop focusing on what you need to do next week or this month or this year. The things you do habitually today will make the following days much easier for you; for instance, if you have put on an extra twenty pounds, focus on eating right and exercising today, not what you have to do tomorrow or next week to see results, focus on making great choices today. Even if you do not feel like doing it, do it today. Quite often we put off things that we do not feel like doing until tomorrow; nut tomorrow never comes, and we never achieve our desired results. The easiest way to start building momentum is to do it right now. We all have experienced this, you do not feel like working out, but you do it now and you walk away feeling happier and more energised.
As always I have to ask, have you ever felt shattered, lost, heartbroken or even had trouble starting again? How did you build momentum and get yourself back on track? I would love to hear what helped you the most in your journey. Please leave a comment below and add as much detail as you can.
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