As, I lay my head on my pillow, the night before last, overwhelmed with frustration and disappointment. ‘It was never supposed to be like this.’ I complained. My mind was consumed with despair and I spend a good portion of the night, feeling disheartened and unable to sleep. Have you been putting all your time and energy towards achieving a goal or dream, only to witness it all falling apart, in a few fleeting moments? No matter where I turn this week, I am continually flooded with stories from family and friends as well as other bloggers, who are experiencing heartache derived from a major setback in life. How we deal with life’s disappointments is often what determines our success or failure. When a major event in your life is crumbling around you; how do you keep perspective and maintain passion for your dream? 

‘Breakdowns can create breakthroughs. Things fall apart, so things can fall together.’ – Unknown.

 1.Be kind to yourself.

Be kind to yourself allow yourself to express your emotions in a way that is constructive but do not allow yourself to wallow; it crucial to express your emotion but also to keep moving forward. In certain circumstances, it is best to reflect upon the events and if possible, decide whether there is a valuable lesson to be learned. It’s also important to take responsibility where it may be due and try not to blame others. You are responsible for your life and its outcomes; at times there are events that occur that are out of our control but it’s necessary to determine what is under our control and make any necessary changes to encourage growth and future success.

 2. Adjust your mindset.

Your mindset is everything; it determines whether you see an obstacle or an opportunity. If you go through life with an unhealthy mindset, it’s like driving along on an unsealed road, and a small stone flicks up and creates a small crack in the windscreen. As you travel down the road the vibration created by the wheels of the car causes the tiny crack to become more prominent and eventually fill up the entire windscreen. As you continue to drive down the road you become accustomed to viewing the world through a distorted windscreen. This distorted view now becomes your new norm. This is how we become if we leave out negative thoughts or mindsets unchecked. One small thought or point of view if left to run ramped can snowball to become a predominant way of thinking. Start seeing setbacks for what they really are, a strategy that didn’t work out, not a moment to be overcome by despair and self-doubt. A setback is simply an opportunity to try a different angle or strategy to achieve the same goal.

3. Never give up

There is so much advice in books and on the internet that encourage people to accept the disappointment as a moment of failure, let go and move on. Unfortunately failure is an innate part of life and if we give into the temptation to let go when circumstances fall apart or don’t go the way we planned, we will achieve nothing. The most important thing to do is keep moving forward. Jack Canfield, the author of Chicken Soup for the Soul was rejected by over 140 publishes; that’s 140 no responses or setbacks. Jack was so determined to get his book published and was prepared to go down the self-publishing route, at a time when it was not popular. If Jack gave up after the first setback or even the hundredth setback he would not hold the Guinness Book World Record for having seven books simultaneously on the New York Times Bestseller List. Never give up on your dreams; an attitude of perseverance is all that stands between you and your goals. Keep your eyes firmly on your goals and strive towards them.

There is a small minority of people who embrace a mindset of perseverance; these people believe no matter what life throws their way, they will persist and persevere, as a consequence, eventually achieving their goals and dreams. When setbacks come our way, we have two options: let go and move on or persevere. Your future is in your hands and only you have the power to decide what happens. Do you agree? Are setbacks an opportunity to persevere or time to let go? Let me know by using the comments box below. I’d love to hear from you.

With love,

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Photo Credit: Nicholas Canup

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Amelia Hay

Author + Coach at Amelia Hay International
I help multi-passionate women just like you to package, brand and market your passions so that you can create your dream business and life, find clarity, confidence, and clients, and make a difference in your world.
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