The Oxford dictionary defines anxiety as a ‘strong desire or concern to do something or for something to happen.’ At some moment, we have all felt a little anxious in our love lives, but it’s not the feeling of anxiety that’s detrimental; it’s the action inspired by anxiety that can often sabotage your chances of a relationship during those delicate early stages. What are anxiety inspired actions, and how can they be prevented? 

 1. You decide to take the quick fix option and start pursuing him.

Anxiety left unchecked heightens your emotions and often leads to irrational behaviour or making decisions without considering the consequences. In the early stages of dating, women who are intelligent, successful or goal oriented often feel anxious and cannot wait for a man who seems to be taking his time; out of this moment a decision is made to pursue a potential love interest in a manner that is considered masculine. There is nothing wrong with making the first move but this needs to be done in a way that is feminine, leaves a man feeling masculine and like he has made the first move. These early stages of dating can be uncomfortable, you’re going to feel anxious and a little upset if the relationship is not progressing in a way or at the speed that you would prefer; be prepared to be a little uncomfortable and find a way to distract in order to stop yourself from unintentionally sabotaging the early stages of the relationship.

2. You rationalise and make excuses.

The moment a decision is made to choose the quick fix option, we start making excuses and rationalise why the behaviour is an appropriate course of action or perhaps he’s playing hot and cold or is only calling you late at night. It’s extremely important to stop making excuses, take a step back and ask yourself, is there a better way to handle this situation? Taking the lead and pursuing a man in a way that is masculine will make him feel uncomfortable. Stop making excuses, let him take the lead, it will feel strange but he needs to see you in a way that is feminine.

3. You don’t let go

The moment anxiety inspired action comes into play, excuses and rationalisation set in; these two decisions cloud our judgement and sometimes, we can allow someone who is not meeting our needs, to remain in our lives especially if a guy is consistently giving you whatever time he has left or fitting you in whenever. Knowing when to walk away from a potential love interest isn’t always an easy decision to make and one of the best ways to do this is to simply ask, is this a healthy relationship? Is this relationship really what I want? The most important thing to do when things do not work out is to make room in your life for someone who is a better match for you; I am not in any way encouraging you to set an impossibly high standard but instead, be realistic about what you deserve and what you want out of a relationship.

There is nothing wrong with feeling anxious and sometimes it can be a part of the dating process, nevertheless avoid leaving this anxiety uncheck because it can lead to, taking the quick fix approach and pursuing a potential love interest, rationalising and making excuses which cloud your judgement and prevents you from recognising the appropriate time to let go. Do you agree or even disagree? Does anxiety inspired action lead to sabotaging your chances of a relationship? Please let me know by using the comments box below.

With love,

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Amelia Hay

Author + Coach at Amelia Hay International
I help multi-passionate women just like you to package, brand and market your passions so that you can create your dream business and life, find clarity, confidence, and clients, and make a difference in your world.
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