After an amazing first date at the London Zoo, filled with giggles, great conversation and flirtatious glances, accompanied by a tall, dark and handsome stranger; we strolled down the old towpath of the Regent’s Canal towards Little Venice hand in hand; as we walked up the steep footpath towards Cafe Laville, I stopped to take in the amazing view of the canal, I held onto the rail and leaned over to catch a glimpse of the canal boats passing under the cafe. Mr. Blue Eyes wraps his arm around my waist. As I gracefully corrected my posture, he leans in and gently kisses my check, I blush; he embraces me and rests his chin on the top of my head as we take in a final glimpse of our surroundings, then he leans in to kiss me again but instead whispers the words ‘Lets go back to my place!’, an awkward silence fills the air; I was speechless. 

I’m flattered, he’s gorgeous and made it perfectly clear that he’s attracted to me. I understand that there is a part of a man that will always hopes for and wants sex at the end of a date, let’s face it, they’re hard wired that way! I am not attempting to establish a correct time to embark on an intimate relationship with a potential partner or enforce my own agenda. It’s certainly not a matter of waiting for x number of dates to keep a guy interested because making a man wait is not what keeps him around long term; however, my inner hopeless romantic needs to feel a connection beyond physical chemistry; by establishing an emotional connection. When two people decide to go on a date, we all put our best selves on display. We hide behind masks of perfection that often reveal very little about who we really are. I really feel that the best way to approach intimacy is to take the time to get to know the real person underneath the mask that we all are guilty of showing the world.

As I discuss my experience and listen to the people around me, I begin to wonder, why do we approach love and intimacy like we’re chasing down the last central line tube on a Friday night? Where did we get our need to rush love and intimacy from? Everything we do is at great speed; we live fast-paced lives, jet set across the world in less than 24 hours, shop on the internet where everything is on demand at the click of a single button. There is nothing wrong with living life this way because it comes with advantages and it does to a certain degree, make sense to apply this speed to all areas of our lives, however intimacy does need to naturally develop over time in a similar way that black and white negatives develop within a dark room; slowly and with care.

Is our consumerist society encouraging us to pursue relationships like purchasing grocery items through the M&S express checkout or is rushing intimacy the new normal? Do you agree? Let me know by using the comments box below.

With love,

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Amelia Hay

Author + Coach at Amelia Hay International
I help multi-passionate women just like you to package, brand and market your passions so that you can create your dream business and life, find clarity, confidence, and clients, and make a difference in your world.
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