Have you ever found yourself saying, he’s so out of my league?

I was recently in a bar at a long and overdue catch up with some close friends when I overheard a group of girls gushing over the a tall gent who was standing at the bar. Oh, he’s so out of my league, the pretty blonde whispered to her friend. As I consider the statement, I wonder, why do we need to rank people in a class system? Does this ranking system have a detrimental effect on your love life? Can someone really be out of your league? 

The statement out of my league comes from an attitude in which we view our world and the people in it, as part of a class or a numbering system. When you get into this judgmental head space and you bring it into your love life, not only are you limiting the pool of potential love interests but you are also attracting someone who will most likely judge you in the same way; remember, physics teaches us like attracts like. In order to widen your pool of potential love interest and to stop attracting people with this view, a change of perception is required in order to accomplish this. Instead of ranking the people around you, begin to view others as an opportunity to make a connection and live your life by the golden rule, ‘do unto others as you would have them do unto you.’ When you make millimetre shifts in your perception and attitudes it leads to change and opens the door for you to engage with more people.

Confidence is one of the sexiest attributes you can bring into your love life; it’s attractive and appeals to everyone. The phrase ‘out of my league’ does not come from a place of self-confidence it oozes a needy and superficial image. Finding a life partner or soul mate will require you to promote yourself in a similar way that a sales consultant sells a product. You must believe in your own product first before anyone else will; it’s so crucial that you take the lead with this one. Dating is not just about looks but it is important to a certain degree, your confidence should be based upon the qualities that you bring to the table as much as it’s about looks. Do whatever it takes for you to be in healthy confident mindset; make sure that before you got out with your friends or on that date with a cute guy or girl, that you feel happy, playful, excited and confident instead of nervous, apprehensive and insecure.

Fear of rejection is one of the main catalysts of out of my league. This fear justifies our reasons for putting up walls and taking a passive stance in our love lives. This fear is revolved around an event that has not taken place. This phrase is often just an excuse powered by fear which rationalises out decision to approach someone that we are attracted to. The best way to overcome this initial fear is to make fear of rejection your best friend; the chance of being flat out rejected upon the first conversation is very slim but if things don’t progress ideally, it may have nothing to do with you. The most important thing is you are out there and you tried; you’re already making more progress than the people who are choosing to wait. Don’t take this personally and if this doesn’t work out it frees you up to continue on your journey to meeting and having the love life you deserve.

Statements like ‘he’s out of my league’ are driven by an attitude of judgement which is fuelled by a lack of confidence and is powered by fear of rejection. This mindset limits your opportunities and severally narrows down your choice of potential love interests in a time frame that is too soon and is detrimental to your love life. Don’t be one of those people who spends time thinking about what others might think. Do you agree? Let me know by using the comments box below. I’d love to hear from you.

With love,

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Amelia Hay

Author + Coach at Amelia Hay International
I help multi-passionate women just like you to package, brand and market your passions so that you can create your dream business and life, find clarity, confidence, and clients, and make a difference in your world.
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