One of the biggest myths of our culture is that we are entitled to a great life, and out of this entitlement mentality we turn to external things like people, events, and material possessions to make our lives great. It’s like our society has become lazy. We expect things to happen, instead of creating opportunities by working hard has become the exception. Author and Speaker, John C. Maxwell once said, most people don’t lead their lives, they accept their life. Our society with the exception of a few individuals has accepted this wait mentality where we wait for things to happen and just accept whatever comes our way. I used to be a someone who waited for things in life, but I grew tired of feeling envious of others who had the life I wanted. I decided that if life wouldn’t give me the opportunities I wanted then I was going to create them, and this is what I want for you. I want you to stop waiting and accepting life and to start to create the life of your dreams. How do you start to create the business and lifestyle of your dreams? What is the first step along this path?


A Necessary First Step

I know for a fact that because you are reading this you recognise that something needs to change, and you are actively seeking it. The first step along any journey is always the most important. It’s the defining moment where you stop waiting and start creating. I was first introduced to this principle of waiting or creating at the beginning of 2011, at a live event with Matthew Hussey while he is a dating and relationship expert; I realised that this principle didn’t just apply to dating, but life in general. It’s a principle that up until that point I had exercised in every other area of my life except my love life. It was a concept that continues to change my life. When you choose to stop waiting and start creating, you are accepting one key principle; take 100% responsibility. You are 100% responsible for the quality of your life. Every little action you have taken throughout your life has taken to where you are today. The place where you are today is no accident. Every decision both good and bad has helped shape your current reality. You are in control.


A Warning About Excuses

At this point is where people say that they cannot be in control of everything. It’s just not possible to control everything, is the excuse I hear so often when people feel challenged by the notion of they are responsible for the quality of their life. While these people are partly true, you cannot control people or events, but there is one main ingredient you can control and that is you. It is good to accept that you cannot control all things because there’s a negative side effect when you try to control people and events. The tighter the grip you have on things, the quicker they slip out of your hands and as a consequence, you lose control, but I’m not trying to promote being a control freak. When people say I’m not in control of everything, it’s more often than not, an excuse. It’s an excuse that masks fear, but not just any fear, a fear of failure. There’s a hidden danger with making excuses, even the ones that seem logical and reasonable. Everyone experiences fear at some point, and I’m not trying to be insensitive, but the danger of making these excuses is far greater than failure. Excuses lead to one thing, no action being taken. Excuses reassure us that we’re not taking action for a valid reason; essentially we almost lie to ourselves. You cannot have your excuses and the life of your dreams because one cancels the other out. To live the life of your dreams you need to push through your fear, surrender your excuses, and step out into the unknown and take action. An excuse will leave you in a dangerous place, your comfort zone. Take 100% responsibility, surrender your excuses and choose to accept that you can control the path you take in life.


A Simple But Powerful Secret

While you cannot control people and events, there is one thing you can control, your response. The way you choose to respond directly affects your outcome, but how many of us actually slow down long enough in the moment to choose a response? The majority of people, including myself at times simply react. When you make the conscious choice to slow down, not stop or procrastinate and choose your response you have the power to positively affect your outcome in a situation; this means you can make an impact on any situation so the outcome is in your favour. This is good news; if you don’t like the outcomes of the events of your life all you have to do is start changing your responses.


In 2011, as I shared previously I attended a live event by Matthew Hussey called Get the Guy. I was unhappy with my love life, and I want to see a change. During the live event, I realised that there was one thing I wasn’t doing. I grew up being told that it’s not okay to look for a life partner. Looking was desperate, and love supposedly came to you when you least expected it. Everything about this is ridiculous, I was taught to be passive and wait, and just accept the love, if any that would come my way. In every other area, I could choose and create opportunities. I had a great group of friends, activities that I loved to participate in, and I did have men express interest. I wasn’t a wallflower; I just didn’t like the men that liked me. The moment I decided to accept responsibility for my love life and the results I was getting, and chose to take action when I liked someone, my love life started to change. I’m now in a relationship for over a year with the type of man I always wanted to be with, and all I did was make a tiny shift in my behaviour. I know this is a simple concept, and you’ve probably heard this all before, but take a moment and ask yourself; Am I actually doing this? It’s important to ask yourself this question when you hear something that you’ve heard over and over again because we often need to hear something several times before we take action.


There is a famous quote that is attributed to Albert Einstein, ‘Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results.’ I was doing exactly this with my love life. To start creating the life of your dreams, or have that perfect relationship, you need to accept that you are 100% responsible for your life, and its results. All you have to do is surrender your excuses, take control of how you respond and stop waiting for life, to simply just unfold. So take 100% responsibility for your life and start creating the life you’ve always wanted.


Now, I’d love to hear from you, what are going to do today to bring you closer to creating the business and lifestyle of your dreams? How are you going to put these principles into practice to stop waiting and start creating? Let me know by using the comments box below. Thank you for reading, sharing and commenting with such kindness and enthusiasm.

With love,

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Amelia Hay

Author + Coach at Amelia Hay International
I help multi-passionate women just like you to package, brand and market your passions so that you can create your dream business and life, find clarity, confidence, and clients, and make a difference in your world.
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